Low sexual desire: why is this happening to me?
Low sexual drive is one of the most common problems for people and couples in long-term relationships. This affects both women and men. There might be many reasons behind this problem, but today I want to talk about the frequent reasons that I found during the sex therapy sessions with my clients.
Some of these causes can be physical or mental. For example, general mental health issues or stress. Prescription medication, too little or too much exercise, even other causes such as alcohol or drug use.
Low libido in couples
Some people can't take as much of an active role in sexual intimacy, as much as they might try. In long-term relationships, it is very normal that interest tends to dissipate and the loss of attraction could grow over time.
Stability and security are important ingredients in a healthy and steady relationship, but getting too comfortable with each other can make the partnership feel predictable and stale. In some way, it is not good to become “overfamiliar” with your partner.
Low sexual desire at an older age
Both men and women experience changes in sex drive. However, low sexual desire has been socially related to women since nearly one-third of women aged 18 to 59 suffer from a lost interest in sex.
Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) is a usual sexual dysfunction that causes a lower interest in sex or even no sex drive in both men and women.
According to studies, low libido can affect a significant number of men after the age of 40, a finding that reaches up to 25 percent of men reporting these problems.
Sexual dysfunction in elderly women has often focused on the lack of estrogen as the main cause. Other common disorders related to sexual dysfunction and increasing age include cardiovascular disease, diabetes, lower urinary tract symptoms, and depression, that end up affecting people´s sex life.
What to do to increase your sex drive?
These are some important aspects to take in the count to improve your libido.
Turn inwards, observe your feelings
First of all, it is important to ask yourself what might be affecting your sex drive. Get in touch with your own feelings and consider what has changed. Managing anxiety and doing activities to decrease stress is also a good starting point to increase libido.
Communicate your emotions
Communication between sexual partners is vital. Lack of communication of your emotions makes things more complicated. Talking clearly with your partner is especially important to achieve successful outcomes when treating couples' problems and low desire.
Try new things
It’s important that you and your partner commit to trying new things. Also, support each other through the process. Together and with time, low sex drive can improve considerably.
Look for help
Treating low libido often depends on treating the underlying issue. Luckily, therapy has been a good tool to face sexual issues and discover whether there are any other aspects to improve in your personal life. However, as previously mentioned, there are many other possible reasons such as psychological problems, stress or work- and family-related issues.
If you don’t know how a sex therapy session works and you’re afraid to talk about these matters, I invite you to read the post Sex Therapy, What to Expect?
There’s always something to do to boost your libido. Therapy can help you.