Why it’s important to be more educated on sexuality
Well you see, with the education (and by that I mean lack of) that we got back then, no emphasis was ever put on the woman’s body, what to stimulate, how to stimulate…and absolutely no education was given on how to feel Pleasure!
So, for some time, I would basically try to figure it out myself through my experiences.
Spoiler Alert!! It didn’t go so well…
All of what I know now are myths, used to be my reality…
- The man’s pleasure is more important
- If they are pleased they’ll like you more
- You should be able to orgasm through penetration
- They’re doing it just fine, something is wrong with you
- Why am I not feeling any pleasure?
Any of you feel identified with this?
Learning about sexuality literally changed my life!
I learned more about my own anatomy.
I understood how the female body works and how there are differences between the male and female sexual response cycles.
I discovered that penetration is not the easiest way to orgasm for people with a vulva.
I realized that orgasm does not have to be the main objective in sex.
Sex is so much more than penetration.
I prioritized myself.
I went through a healing process with my body.
I got to explore, and still do, what I like and what I don’t like.
I experimented.
I started making better choices about who I wanted to experiment with.
I got to value myself and act accordingly.
I began to set boundaries.
I went after what I wanted and knew I deserved.
I finally started feeling pleasure! And more pleasure, and some more!
What a journey! There were a lot of unpleasant moments, but a lot of lessons came out of them, which then led me to a lot of beautiful moments. I now feel more in touch with my sexuality than ever. I’m having the most pleasure I’ve ever had after getting to know myself better. I feel happy and fulfilled.
This is such crucial information everyone should know about. So many people are suffering because they don’t know how to feel pleasure or please their partner.
Something very important I’d like to say, is that we are all responsible for our own pleasure. The concept of ¨I make the other orgasm¨ is not right. No one is responsible to make anyone orgasm. We know ourselves better than anyone, we are responsible to know what we want, what we need, do it ourselves or ask the other to do something. We have our own pleasure in our own hands! It’s in no one else’s. We can, however, ask our partner to do something that will help us feel aroused, and likewise do it for them, which could eventually help us reach orgasm. We are the ones asking for it though, or allowing it to happen. We are not passive when it comes to our pleasure.
This is why it’s important to get to know ourselves, discover what we like and dislike. We can do that through reading, investigating, taking ideas from movies or pornography (remember though they are films not reality, so you can get ideas on what might turn you on but carrying it out can often be very different in real life!), read erotic novels, try out sex toys, talk to people about sex and definitely talk to your partner!
The more we communicate about sexuality, the less taboo it becomes and the more information we get to have about it.
Lack of education or keeping secrets only leads to problems. It means making a lot of assumptions on what the other wants, often having the completely wrong idea. It also means having unrealistic expectations that are never met and you are therefore constantly disappointed.
Remember if you need help with all of this, you can always ask for it!
Don’t hesitate to contact me, whether you need more general information on sexuality, how to feel more pleasure or how to communicate better with your partner!
You can read more on related topics such as Sexual Empowerment and Orgasms.